Cliché of the Day: A cliché topic, the "-ists"

You’ve probably heard it: “My best friend is black.” “My best friend is gay.” Ad nauseam. If you haven’t, well, you’re blessed. (Yep, I could’ve helped that cliché.)

Now, I haven’t heard “My best friend is Mexican” or latino or Asian or Middle Eastern or African;  I don’t doubt that people say such things. But, it probably stays there, rather than using more specific language: Guatemalan, Peruvian, Uruguayan, Honduran, Columbian; Cambodian, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Hmong; Indian, Pakistani, Israeli, Iraqi, Palestinian; Malagasy, Nigerian, Sudanese, Rwandan, Ghanan, Ethiopian, Mauritanian, etc. You probably mean your best friend is American, or s/he isn’t “one of your best friends,” as the person’s actual ethnicity is beyond memory.

My closer and older friends are white. White, straight, females. I have a close friend who is first generation American; her father is Dutch. I have a wonderful friend who is Peruvian, who studied and is currently working in the U.S. There are people dear to me who are Spaniards. And family that is Mexican. One friend who is gay. (And, guess what? He is a white American.) End of story. Nope. Not too diversified, my life. To boot, most of them are Christians.

 

There’s one not heard: “My best friend is a Christian.” (Add to that “and not an asshole,” and then it might be a reasonable thing to say. Probably not.) 

I’ll say it again: my closer and older friends are white, straight, Christian women. Does that make me racist? No. Am I racist? Probably.

The majority of people are racist and/or prejudice in some way against some people group. White people need to stop defending themselves. We are not a post-racial or post sexist, or post homophobic society, and having, or claiming to have, a (best) friend from these fields does not change that.

So stop it. It sounds racist. It is defensive. And what are we defending? The fear of being labeled with an ist, no doubt. Perhaps that fear has grounds, perhaps it doesn’t. White Americans are obsessed with race, and it is disturbing. The obsession tends towards abstract conversations of color, of race, of ethnicity, and of self-protection, instead of conversations about people and the roots of their plight. It is no different when speaking of LGBT+ rights or women’s rights or immigration. Let us listen to people. Then let us speak of and with people, not concepts. Not money. Not numbers. Just people. With love.