Cliché of the Day: A cliché topic, the "-ists"

You’ve probably heard it: “My best friend is black.” “My best friend is gay.” Ad nauseam. If you haven’t, well, you’re blessed. (Yep, I could’ve helped that cliché.)

Now, I haven’t heard “My best friend is Mexican” or latino or Asian or Middle Eastern or African;  I don’t doubt that people say such things. But, it probably stays there, rather than using more specific language: Guatemalan, Peruvian, Uruguayan, Honduran, Columbian; Cambodian, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Hmong; Indian, Pakistani, Israeli, Iraqi, Palestinian; Malagasy, Nigerian, Sudanese, Rwandan, Ghanan, Ethiopian, Mauritanian, etc. You probably mean your best friend is American, or s/he isn’t “one of your best friends,” as the person’s actual ethnicity is beyond memory.

My closer and older friends are white. White, straight, females. I have a close friend who is first generation American; her father is Dutch. I have a wonderful friend who is Peruvian, who studied and is currently working in the U.S. There are people dear to me who are Spaniards. And family that is Mexican. One friend who is gay. (And, guess what? He is a white American.) End of story. Nope. Not too diversified, my life. To boot, most of them are Christians.

 

There’s one not heard: “My best friend is a Christian.” (Add to that “and not an asshole,” and then it might be a reasonable thing to say. Probably not.) 

I’ll say it again: my closer and older friends are white, straight, Christian women. Does that make me racist? No. Am I racist? Probably.

The majority of people are racist and/or prejudice in some way against some people group. White people need to stop defending themselves. We are not a post-racial or post sexist, or post homophobic society, and having, or claiming to have, a (best) friend from these fields does not change that.

So stop it. It sounds racist. It is defensive. And what are we defending? The fear of being labeled with an ist, no doubt. Perhaps that fear has grounds, perhaps it doesn’t. White Americans are obsessed with race, and it is disturbing. The obsession tends towards abstract conversations of color, of race, of ethnicity, and of self-protection, instead of conversations about people and the roots of their plight. It is no different when speaking of LGBT+ rights or women’s rights or immigration. Let us listen to people. Then let us speak of and with people, not concepts. Not money. Not numbers. Just people. With love.

Cliché of the Day: Death

Or not. Perhaps the language used regarding death is what gives off that stench of cliché. Passed on. Empty. Gap. Will be missed. The person who . . . fillintheblankwithsomething-positive. In a better place. So unexpected. So unfortunate. So heart-breaking.

And yes, Professor Vande Kopple’s death was unexpected. While pancreatic cancer tends to be a death sentence, a week isn’t enough time on death row. Then Bob died in surgery—unfortunate. His health considered, not surprising. Unfortunate. Gordon’s murder? Yes, heart-breaking.

Cold-blooded: a favored cliché to describe the actions of murderers and perhaps transferable to cancer. Except cancer doesn’t have blood. The cliché is that cancer sucks. Well. No shit. Murderers? Are people. People who murder? Aren’t cold-blooded, uncaring. Someone cared quite a bit about Gordon. Sure as heck wish s/he wouldnt’ve. But even a sociopath has some splintered sliver of light inside.

Three deaths and three staph infections: the great and the insignificant. Shall that describe 2013? Two births and two saving graces: Ashlyn and Eva, Debra and Irene. Shall these describe 2013? 

Or rather, indebted to the Book of Common Prayer: “. . . to have and to holde from this day forwarde, for better, for woorse, for richer, for poorer, in sickenes and in health, to love and to cherishe, til death us departe . . .”

Beat Poetry: a post-post modern's literary platform

There’s a new Upworthy clip; a father wrote and performed a poem for his son. His son has down-syndrome. The word he mentions, against which he speaks is retarded. The poem’s literary quality is wanting, but his eyes tell the of the desire; that’s what kept me listening.

I’m a little critical of such videos. Just say what you mean. The verse is convoluted. It gets in the way of the message, an important message, and is not well written or performed.

I love poetry. The beat poetry movement is really something; for me, it’s mostly a reminder of the verbal side of poetry, of the part after writing, the part I like to ignore, the performance. The beat movement takes a submerged topic and blends it with a head snapping style that is culturally appealing. It is exciting. It is passionate.

Do I enjoy the beat poetry? It’s okay.

But it seems forced. Angry sometimes. Too fast. The tones often disagree with the subject matter. But perhaps the escalating emotion is what has kept it living and growing through the 20teens. The mellow is drowned out by the dramatic. The generation tiring of the jaded postmodernism latches to open emotion, latches to those who say “fuck it” as a rallying cry rather than a sigh of cynicism. It’s hip. Hipsters are gradually handing it over to pop culture. (Says I.)

My generation’s pull for openness is frazzling for one who paired well with the skeptical, jaded mode of being. Of course, there is a balance to be found; the beat poets make me think of the pendulum metaphor, with Annie-on-Autopilot on the other side: why the hell would anyone want to “embrace their emotions” and unfurl them for the world??

My counselor, Reagan once said, “I’m going to go religious on you. Jesus got ticked in the temple. If the Son of God can get pissed, I think it’s probably okay for you to feel anger.” Okay, okay. Perhaps beat poetry is something people find to be an expression of righteous anger. (However, I think the poets could take some lessons from Eminem on breathing while keeping the desired emotion palpable.)

As for the subject matter—keep at it. Father of the wonderful son who happens to have down-syndrome, don’t stop.